


Honesty

by seungyounloml



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:49:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22886581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seungyounloml/pseuds/seungyounloml
Summary: Seungyoun misses Wooseok.
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	Honesty

Seungyoun switched off his computer. He sighed. I was time for him to go to Seungwoo’s fan meeting. Not that he didn’t want to go, he hadn’t seen Seungwoo since a while and he was missing him, but he wasn’t sure that if he wanted to see Wooseok. He felt like he could cry just thinking about him. However, Seungyoun put his beanie on his head, grabbed his phone and got out of his house. A black van was waiting for him. Seungyoun opened the van door and saw Yohan inside. The latter was smiling to him, seeming excited to see him.

“Hi Seungyoun hyung ! How are you ?” Yohan said

“I’m good !” Seungyoun answered as the van started

“You don’t seem very good though. You should be because we gonna see Seungwoo !” Yohan almost screamed while shaking Seungyoun’s shoulders

“Yes ! I’m happy to see him”

“You don’t seem happy at all.”

Yohan pouted. Seungyoun thought he was very cute.

“I’m just tired” Seungyoun replied, trying to smile

But Yohan wasn’t buying it.

“Come on Seungyoun, is this because of Wooseok ? We are not even sure that he’ll come and even if he comes well… uh you can talk with me instead of talking with him”

Seungyoun felt like he would cry but he held his tears.

“I do want to talk with him. But if I say something he will ignore me. He said he doesn’t want to talk with me anymore.”

“I’m sure things will get better. Maybe he needs time.”

“I hope so...”

Seungyoun was sad. He was missing Wooseok a lot, he wanted to hug him and hold his hand, but sadly, that was impossible. Seungyoun was looking through the window thinking about how pretty Wooseok was. He was about to start crying but the manager suddenly said that they were arrived, and Seungyoun noticed that the car stopped. Seungyoun and Yohan got out of the car with their manager. Yohan took Seungyoun hand looking at him.

“Hey. Don’t think about him. Think about Seungwoo hyung only. Just enjoy the show. We are going to see Seungwoo hyung performing Havana !”

“You really are Seungwoo’s biggest fanboy”

“Yes I am !” Yohan answered while excitedly bouncing like the little rabbit he was

Yohan, Seungyoun and the manager walked to the venue. They climbed the stairs. Yohan was giggling while bouncing in the stairs, and Seungyoun started being excited seeing him happy, so he started bouncing with him. They arrived to the balconies. The manager showed them a balcony with two empty seats. Seungyoun and Yohan sat down. Seungyoun felt relieved that they weren’t in the same balcony as Wooseok, and also that they couldn’t see him from where they were.

“Wooseok ?” Eunsang called

“Hmm ?” Wooseok answered looking at Seungwoo on the stage

“What’s going on between you and Seungyoun hyung ?”

Wooseok coughed. The hyung line had tried his best to hide that Seungyoun and Wooseok weren’t talking to each other anymore, but Eunsang was smart and had noticed it. Wooseok leaned toward Eunsang so Dongpyo couldn't hear their conversation. Dongpyo seemed to be concentrated on Seungwoo anyway.

“Why are you asking ?”

“He didn’t sat with us. That’s weird because you were very close. Did you broke up with him ?”

Wooseok felt his heart stop. Goddammit, he hated Cho Seungyoun. He suddenly wanted to stand up, grab Seungyoun by the collar and punch him in the face. Yes, that seemed like a good idea. But he couldn’t actually do this, because his fansites were watching him. Eunsang was waiting for Wooseok’s answer, but the latter didn’t actually know what to say.

“It’s complicated. We just don’t talk anymore.”

It was a lie. It wasn’t complicated : Seungyoun was a bitch and Wooseok didn’t want to talk to him for the rest of his life. Eunsang must had understood that Wooseok wanted to avoid this subject because he didn’t ask anything else to Wooseok, and started looking at Seungwoo again. Wooseok sighed. He really didn’t want to talk about Seungyoun, or to see Seungyoun. However, his eyes were uncontrollably attracted to the balcony next to them. Wooseok saw Seungyoun and Yohan laughing and dancing to the beat with their arms. Seungyoun looked happy. Wooseok turned his head and looked at Seungwoo instead. It was hurting him to see that Seungyoun was happy without him. Maybe Seungyoun didn’t need Wooseok. Maybe Seungyoun had never truly loved him. He looked happier with Yohan. Wooseok wanted to scream or to run away as far as he could from Seungyoun.

Seungwoo’s show was very cool and Yohan and Seungyoun had so much fun watching him from the balcony. But now the show was over.

“We are going backstage, follow me” the manager said

Yohan and Seungyoun stood up and followed him. Seungyoun realized they were going to the balcony next to theirs. _Fuck no no no._ Seungyoun was about to run away but Yohan pushed him.

“Stay calm. Act normal, the fans are watching.” Yohan whispered to him

They arrived to the balcony where Dongpyo, Eunsang and Wooseok were seated.

“Seungyoun hyung !” Dongpyo screamed

Seungyoun heard Dongpyo as if he was far away because he could only see Wooseok who turned around to look at them. Seungyoun was frozen. _Fuck._ Wooseok was so pretty and cute with his mask. Seungyoun wanted to kneel down and propose to him but he was 101% he would be rejected. Yohan pushed Seungyoun to Wooseok. Wooseok wasn’t even looking at Seungyoun as he shook his hand, and he started talking to Yohan. Seungyoun wasn’t hearing what they were saying because he was focusing on holding back his tears. He felt like his heart was breaking in small pieces. He wanted to hold Wooseok’s hand, but he was invisible to his eyes.

Seungyoun felt someone grab his arm. It was Dongpyo. Seungyoun looked at him. Dongpyo seemed very happy to see him. Seungyoun put his arm around Dongpyo’s shoulders.

“Hello baby !” Seungyoun said to him

“I missed you hyung !”

“I missed you too” Seungyoun said poking Dongpyo’s cheek

“Let’s go backstage” the manager suddenly said

They went downstairs, Wooseok walking ahead with Yohan, talking together, and Seungyoun walking next to Eunsang and Dongpyo, still holding Dongpyo by his shoulder. Seungyoun suddenly noticed that he was looking at Wooseok’s ass.

“I hate me” Seungyoun whispered

“What ?” Dongpyo asked

“Huh… Nothing”

“Hyung are you okay ?” Eunsang asked “You look a bit tired”

“I’m not” Seungyoun said

“You can tell us about it” Eunsang said

Dongpyo nodded.

“Hyung, we know something is going on between you and Wooseok.” he said “Maybe you are thinking that we can’t understand because we are too young, but you can trust us”

“We are here for you” Eunsang added

Seungyoun looked at them. They were the best little brothers ever.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you. You will just… be disappointed of me.”

“Did you do something bad to Wooseok ?” Dongpyo asked

“I think he did” Eunsang said. “Wooseok is ignoring him”

Seungyoun felt his heart break again.

“Don’t cry hyung” Eunsang added. “I think Wooseok still loves you. So maybe he will forgive you in one or two centuries.”

“What ?” Seungyoun said. “First of all, even if he still loves me, I broke his heart. Second of all, he will never forgive me because he actually hates me. And, third of all, I wasn’t going to cry.”

Dongpyo looked at Seungyoun.

“Hyung you look like you are going to cry. I’m pretty sure you put glasses on today to hide your tears.”

“I-” Seungyoun started

“Hyung, I think you are actually weak. If you want to cry, you can cry. We won’t judge you” Eunsang broke in.

“I’m not weak” Seungyoun retorted with a weak voice

“See ?” Dongpyo said “He gonna cry”

Seungyoun had changed his mind. They were the worst little brothers ever.

“Are you going to talk to him ?” Eunsang asked

“If I talk to him he won’t answer”

“You know Seungyoun hyung, I think you should just kneel and beg for his forgiveness while kissing is feet.”

“That’s a good idea Dongpyo, but I think he will just kick me in the face without even looking at me”

“Damn, you are really desperate.” Eunsang said shaking his head

“I just-”

They stopped as they arrived in front of the backstage door. Wooseok turned around. Seungyoun heart skipped a beat. Wooseok wasn’t wearing his mask anymore. _Fuck. He_ _i_ _s so pretty._ But Wooseok still wasn’t looking at him, he was looking for the manager.

“Can we come in ?” Wooseok asked to the manager

 _Damn. His voice is so pretty,_ Seungyoun thought.

“Yes, Seungwoo is waiting” the manager answered

They opened the door and were immediately greeted by Seungwoo.

“My sons !” Seungwoo said

He looked very happy. That warmed Seungyoun’s heart.

“We are not your sons !” Yohan said grabbing Seungwoo for a hug

“I missed you all” Seungwoo said.

“We missed you too” Dongpyo said joining Seungwoo’s and Yohan’s hug

“Group hug !” Seungyoun screamed

Seungyoun hugged all of them, and so did Wooseok, careful to not touch Seungyoun. The latter noticed that Wooseok was avoiding any interaction with him as much as possible. When Wooseok had shaken his hand earlier, it was only because the fans were watching them. Seungyoun felt his heart break even more.

“How are you all doing ?” Seungwoo asked

Seungyoun silently listened to them talking. He was concentrating to not look at Wooseok. But he actually couldn’t resist and end up watching him. He was just so pretty. _How can someone be that beautiful._ That was unnecessarily distracting.

“What about you Seungyoun ?” Seungwoo asked

Seungyoun noticed that everyone was looking at him. Including Wooseok. But Wooseok’s gaze was emotionless. Empty. Wooseok used to look at Seungyoun with sparkly eyes. Seungyoun looked at Seungwoo.

“Huh ?” Seungyoun said because everything was confusion in his head

“I asked if you were going to have a comeback soon” Seungwoo said with a kind smile on his face

“Seungyoun hyung is jobless, the only things he does are watching stranger things and playing league of legends.” Dongpyo declared

“Dongpyo, please respect your hyung” Yohan said laughing as Seungyoun was trying to squish Dongpyo’s cheeks

“I’m currently working on something” Seungyoun said

“What is it about ?” Yohan asked

“It’s a secret” Seungyoun answered

“Just say you’re jobless, hyung” Dongpyo said

Seungyoun started chasing Dongpyo in the room to tickle him.

Wooseok was talking with Eunsang, Yohan and Seungwoo. Meanwhile Seungyoun was tickling Dongpyo. These two were very loud. Seungyoun was really annoying.

“Should we take a selca ?” Eunsang asked

“Yes !” Dongpyo yelled

Wooseok gave his phone to Eunsang. They settled in for the selca, and Wooseok noticed that Seungyoun was standing as far as he could from him.

“Yohan hyung can you smile normally ?” Eunsang said

“That’s my normal smile !”

Eunsang took the selca and gave his phone back to Wooseok.

“Thank you. I’ll post it on my insta” Wooseok said

“Ain’t top media gonna beat your ass ?” Yohan asked

“Yohan watch your language” Seungwoo told him with his dad voice

“What are they going to do ? Force me to dye my hair pink ?”

Wooseok suddenly realized that he was waiting for Seungyoun to say a joke about what he just said. He mentally punched himself. Some habits were really hard to lose.

“I think pink would suit you hyung” Dongpyo answered

Wooseok smiled at him.

“Yohan, we should go now. The driver is waiting for us outside.” Seungyoun declared out of nowhere

“Are going out without me ?” Seungwoo asked

“I’m sleeping at Seungyoun’s house tonight !” Yohan excitedly announced “I’m gonna eat his mom’s food !”

Wooseok couldn’t stop himself for being jealous. First of all, he had never went to Seungyoun’s house and had never met his mom. Also, he felt really mad imagining Seungyoun and Yohan cuddling in a bed.

“Goodbye I guess. I hope I will see you again soon” Seungwoo said

Seungwoo grabbed Yohan in a hug, and Eunsang and Dongpyo joined them.

Wooseok was now facing Seungyoun. And Seungyoun was coming to him. _No. No. Don’t come closer._ But Seungyoun was already close to him.

“Can I talk to you ?” he asked

_No. No. Go away._

“No” Wooseok answered

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.”

“I don’t think you are”

“I love you, Wooseok”

Wooseok felt his heart beating faster. He looked at Seungyoun in the eye. Seungyoun’s gaze seemed sincere. Wooseok wanted to slap him in the face and yell at him that he was a stupid bitch.

“I don’t care” Wooseok said.

But Wooseok did care.

“Wooseok… I’m sorry. I just love you, and I hate me. You are… the best thing that happened to me. I miss you so much”

“I don’t miss you. I don’t need you.” Wooseok lied

Seungyoun looked down, biting his lip. He quickly wiped a tear that was running on his cheek. Wooseok felt his heart hurt seeing him cry. Seungyoun looked at Wooseok in the eye again.

“Take your time to forgive me”

Seungyoun’s voice was trembling. His eyes were full of sadness. Then, Yohan grabbed Seungyoun’s sleeve.

“We should go now” Yohan whispered to him.

Seungyoun turned his head to him and nodded. They left the room together, Yohan waving at Seungwoo. Wooseok breathed out when they got out. He looked at Seungwoo. The latter was looking at him with sad eyes.

“I’m sorry Wooseok.” Seungwoo said

“This is not your fault”

“I feel like it’s my fault”

“It’s his fault. Now can we stop talking about this ?”

Seungyoun wanted to take a nap and sleep forever. When he got in the van, Yohan hugged him. Seungyoun was crying again. Wooseok’s words were stuck in his mind. _I d_ _on’t miss you. I don’t need you._ Seungyoun wanted to make things better, but it seemed to be even worst now. Everything was his fault.

“Seungyoun hyung, stop crying. I’m sure he still loves you, whatever he said to you”

“I don’t think he does” Seungyoun wailed

Seungyoun saw how Wooseok was looking at him. With no feelings. Even his voice was cold.

“I’m sure he does. He needs time.”

A few time after, Yohan and Seungyoun arrived at Seungyoun's house and were immediately greeted by Seungyoun's mom. She seemed very happy to see them.  
"Yohan ! Hello ! Our center ! How are you ?"  
Or maybe just happy to see Yohan. Seungyoun's mom liked Yohan a lot, but everyone liked Yohan anyway.  
They sat for the dinner. Seungyoun's stayed silent as the other were talking. Seungyoun's mom seemed whipped for Yohan, but who isn't.  
"Who is your bias in X1 ?" Yohan asked her  
"Kim Yohan obviously !" Seungyoun's mom answered  
"Why not me ?" Seungyoun whined  
"I also like Kim Wooseok. I think Kim Wooseok is my bias" Seungyoun's mom added  
Yohan looked at Seungyoun. The latter had frozen, his fork half way between his plate and his mouth.  
"Why is he your bias ?" Yohan asked  
"Because he's so pretty, he looks like a charming prince. And also he has a nice voice."  
Seungyoun was about to cry.  
"You should bring him here some time Seungyoun"  
Seungyoun looked at his mom. Life was so cruel.  
"Are you okay son ? Are you sick ?"  
"I just need some sleep" Seungyoun answered  
But it wasn't true. He actually needed his daily crying session.  
  
Seungyoun was now lying in the couch. Yohan and him were sleeping in the living room. Seungyoun was looking at the ceiling. Once again, he couldn't sleep. A memory flashed in his head.  
  
He was at the X1 dorm. They were watching Hotel del Luna together with all the members seated on the couch. Seungyoun was next to Wooseok, holding his hand. Seungyoun wasn't really watching the drama, because he was actually looking at Wooseok.  
"Cho Seungyoun, I'm not the TV" Wooseok said  
"You are more interesting than the TV"  
Wooseok turned his head to Seungyoun with a smile. They looked to each other in the eye. Seungyoun couldn't resist and kissed Wooseok softly.  
"Disgusting" Minhee said  
Junho was applauding.  
"Wow this is more interesting than the drama !"  
"Yah ! Y'all are so loud !" Yohan complained pausing the TV  
"What happened ?" Dongpyo asked  
Seungwoo was hiding Dongpyo's eyes.  
"They kissed !" Junho said excitedly as Dohyon was making confused dolphin sounds  
"You can't watch this Dongpyo" the leader said  
"Get a room" Hangyul said  
"Can we just peacefully watch the drama ?" Seungyoun said  
"You weren't really watching though" Wooseok said  
Seungyoun smiled at him, and they kissed again while everyone was screaming around them.  
  
Seungyoun was crying. Remembering good times like this was hurting him. He missed all the X1 members, he missed being in X1, especially because he was far from Wooseok now. He missed him a lot. So he decided to text him. That was probably dumb because it was late in the night, but he wanted to talk with him. He sent him "I miss you". He knew that Wooseok wouldn't answer.  
  


  
Wooseok was laying in his bed. It was a tiring day, but for some reason, he couldn't fall asleep. Well Wooseok actually knew the reason : once again, it was Cho Seungyoun's fault. Wooseok was remembering his eyes when he said that he loved him. He looked very sincere. Wooseok was close to believe him.  
Wooseok decided to watch a movie. It was very late, but Wooseok knew he wouldn't sleep tonight. Suddenly, he received a text. Who could text him at 4am ? Wooseok looked at his phone. Once again, it was Cho Seungyoun. _Fuck._ Wooseok was about to answer "I miss you too" but stopped right before pressing the send button. _What the fuck am I doing ?_ Wooseok erased the text.  
  


\---

Seungyoun woke up at 1pm. Yohan was already awake, on his phone, sitting on the other couch of the living room. He hair was wet : he probably had taken a shower. Yohan turned his head to him.  
"You are finally awake" he said to him   
"I don't want to wake up. Who are you texting that early in the morning ?"   
"It's literally the afternoon hyung . And I'm texting Cha Junho, he's sending me spongebob memes for some reason . Also can you hurry up, I'm hungry."   
Seungyoun hurried up. He quickly took a shower, and Yohan and him got out to get in the taxi that was waiting for them outside. Seungyoun checked his phone. As expected, Wooseok still didn't answer to him.

"What are you doing ?" Yohan asked  
"Let's take a selca" Seungyoun said to hide that he was about to cry because Wooseok didn't answer his text.   
They took a selca together and Seungyoun posted it on instagram.   
"I look like I want to kill you" Yohan said looking at the selca   
Seungyoun didn't answer and continued looking through the window.   
"Seungyoun hyung ?" Yohan called   
"Hmm" Seungyoun answered without looking at him   
"Give me your phone"   
"Don't delete the story please" Seungyoun said giving him his phone   
"I won't"   
Yohan checked Seungyoun's phone. Seungyoun knew that Yohan knew he did something stupid.   
"Seungyoun..." Yohan looked at him with sadness. "I know you miss him but... maybe let him some time. It's Wooseok you know."   
Seungyoun understood what Yohan meant.   
"I just...miss him" Seungyoun said, wiping a tear   
"I know. Like I already said, he needs some time."   
"What if he never comes back because he doesn't love me anymore ?"   
"He will come back to you. He can't stay mad at you this long"   
Seungyoun put his head on Yohan's shoulder.   
"Don't think about him today, think about the bowling because you should concentrate if you want to beat me"   
Seungyoun smiled to him.   
"I literally won the gold medal in the bowling Olympic games in 1994 in Seoul. You can't beat me"   
"You weren't even born hyung"   
"That makes my victory even more amazing"   
Yohan laughed as they were coming inside the bowling club. 

  
Wooseok had a busy day. Being busy was a great way to forget Seungyoun. Wooseok was practi c ing hard for his fan meeting. He took a break for lunch only. The night had aldeady fallen when he arrived in his building. In the hall, he saw a couple kissing. _Fuck. I hate taken people._ They seemed startled when Wooseok entered, but Wooseok pretended to ignore them. Wooseok climbed the stairs, entered his room and fell on his bed, lying on his stomach. That couple downstairs made him remember something.

It was less than 5 months ago. He was on his room, choosing which t-shirt he should wear the next day. Seungyoun came in his room. He looked very stressed.

“Wooseok, can I talk to you ?”

“Yes, what’s going on ?” Wooseok answered to him

“I need to tell you something. Well, it’s actually not important, but maybe it’s important, but it actually depends if you think that’s important or not. It’s actually important for me but it’s okay if it’s not important for you” Seungyoun declared, talking fast

“Whatever, tell me” Wooseok calmy said

“Hum...I’m sorry that’s kinda weird like I just came to your room like this and...uh”

Seungyoun took a deep breath.

“I love you Wooseok.”

Wooseok didn’t answer. Not that he didn’t know that Seungyoun loved him (he was kinda obvious), but it felt different to hear these words from him. The tallest started panicking because of Wooseok’s silence.

“I mean, it’s okay if you don’t like me. I mean no it’s not okay I’m probably gonna cry or whatever but just take your time to answer. Maybe it’s very weird because I just came here and said this like that’s so dumb but I’m actually so dumb like I don’t know what I’m actually doing right now but anyway I just wanted to tell you this because-”

Seungyoun couldn't finish his sentence because Wooseok pressed his lips against his, cupping his face with his hands. Wooseok looked at him as he pulled apart. Seungyoun looked shocked. He blinked a lot of times.

“I definitely gonna faint” Seungyoun said

“Okay, go faint, I’m staying here”

Seungyoun took a deep breath, and he finally looked at Wooseok.

“I’m waiting” Wooseok said

“I just...”

Seungyoun got closer to Wooseok, and kissed him again. In this perfect moment, Junho decided to enter Wooseok’s room.

“Wooseok hyung did you see Minhee’s airpo-”

Junho froze. Wooseok and Seungyoun pulled apart. Wooseok felt the heat coming to his cheeks. In this awkward situation, Minhee arrived in the room.

“Hyung did you see my airpods ?” Minhee asked, unbothered.

“Minhee” Junho said with a look expressing the emergency of this situation “They were KISSING”

“Yeah. As expected. Actually Wooseok always tries to look like he doesn’t care about Seungyoun but he’s always looking at him. And Seungyoun is kinda obvious, he’s always looking at Wooseok’s ass.

“I- what ?” Seungyoun said

“Should we call Seungwoo hyung ?” Junho asked

“What’s going on ?” Seungwoo said as he came in the room.

He looked at Wooseok and Seungyoun.

“Oh. They finally kissed.”

“How did you guess hyung ?” Junho asked, amazed

“Well, Wooseok’s face is red and he’s is holding Seungyoun’s hand”

Wooseok looked at his hand and he remarked that he was effectively holding Seungyoun’s hand.

“We-” Seungyoun started

“Get out, kids, I think we disturbed them”

Wooseok felt very tired. It hurt him to remember this moment, because Seungyoun was very cute when he confessed to him. Wooseok probably won’t sleep tonight, because Seungyoun’s smile was stuck in his head. And it hurt Wooseok even more that all this time Seungyoun had smiled to him, it was all fake.

\---

Wooseok remembered that night when everything went wrong.  
In the end of January, the X1 hyung line met up at Yohan's apartment to eat chicken feet together. Wooseok was excited to see them, especially Seungyoun, because he hadn't seen him since a while, and he needed to talk with him. Wooseok was the last one to arrive in the apartment, because he had an important meeting. Yohan had sent many texts to Wooseok asking him when he was going to arrive. Apparently, all of them were already severely drunk. That was probably why Wooseok had not received any texts from Seungyoun that evening.  
Wooseok climbed the stairs to Yohan's a partmen t. He really wanted to eat those chicken feet. He typed the door code. As soon as he opened the door, he saw Seungyoun on Seungwoo lap, passionately kissing him. Wooseok froze. His brain was trying to process what was going on but he couldn't find an explanation.  
Seungwoo pushed Seungyoun away showing him Wooseok with his gaze.  
"Fuck" Seungyoun said, tumbling down from Seungwoo’ s lap   
Wooseok couldn't think properly. Everything was going too fast in his mind so he left the room. He was walking fast, and tried to push his emotions away, like he was always doing. He heard Seungyoun following him, running after him in the corridor. Seungyoun grabbed Wooseok's sleeve.  
"Wooseok" Seungyoun called  
Wooseok turned around. He looked at Seungyoun. He wasn't even that drunk. Wooseok was disappointed, much more than disappointed. He was feeling betrayed. Yes, he had an argument with Seungyoun the previous day, but still, why would he do that ?  
"If I say that I'm sorry you won't believe me" Seungyoun said  
What was it there to be sorry about ? Why would he be sorry ? Wooseok started slowly feeling mad.  
"I don't think you're sorry" Wooseok said  
"Wooseok... this is not what you’re thinking. I’m sorry… I love you"  
Wooseok was about to slap him. How d id he dare say that ? He slapped him.  
"Don't ever say that you love me. Don't ever call me again, don't ever talk to me again."  
Wooseok turned around and left, leaving Seungyoun who was just standing there.  
  
Few days after this event , Seungwoo had called Wooseok to meet him, and Wooseok accepted. Seungwoo apologized to him a hundred times, but Wooseok wasn't mad at him. He was just so disappointed of Seungyoun. Wooseok thought he loved him for real, but apparently, he was wrong.  
To focus on something else than Seungyoun, Wooseok started practicing more. He was waking up early, and stayed at top building until late in the night. He didn't sleep enough, b ecause he had troubles falling asleep.  
The next week, Seungyoun didn't call Wooseok, and neither texted him. Wooseok knew that he told him to not to, but if Seungyoun cared a little about him, why wasn't he trying to contact him ? Wooseok was feeling even more betrayed, without any explanation of Seungyoun's behavior. But was there actually an explanation ?

The day before before their breakup, Seungyoun had called Wooseok.  
"Hi" Wooseok said with a sleepy voice  
"Hi baby, how are you ?" Seungyoun asked  
"I'm fine. I'm kinda tired, I think I'm going to sleep."  
"Nooo please stay with me"  
"I'm tired, Seungyoun"  
They remained silent for a moment.  
"Wooseok ?"  
"Mmh"  
"I feel like you're neglecting me recently"  
"What ? What do you mean ?"  
"Like you take hours to answer my texts, you don't answer my phone calls, like I called you 4 times before you finally answer"  
"I'm busy Seungyoun. I don't spend my days playing games unlike you."  
"Are you serious ?"  
Why was Wooseok like this ?  
"What ?" Wooseok said, with an annoyed voice  
"Did I do something wrong to you ?"  
"What are you talking about ? Look, I really need to sleep, I have a meeting tomorrow. I'll talk to you later"  
"Wait can you-" Seungyoun started, but he was cut because Wooseok hung up.  
Seungyoun was confused. Wooseok sounded like he didn't want to talk with him. Seungyoun didn't remember doing something wrong. He was always trying to talk with Wooseok, but the latter wasn't answering most of the time, and his excuses were always that he was busy. Seungyoun was feeling like Wooseok was getting away from him.

\---

Seungyoun woke up, alone. He was in his mom’s house, few days after he went to the bowling with Yohan. It was already the afternoon. Like always, the first thing he thought about when he woke up was Wooseok. More precisely, he was thinking about Wooseok’s doe eyes. He suddenly felt the need to see him, even if Yohan advised him to leave him some time. Seungyoun grabbed his phone. He texted Jinhyuk : “Hi Jinhyuk, do you know if Wooseok will be at top building tonight ?”.

Two hours after, Jinhyuk answered : “No he has a shooting, he will finish at 8 pm. Do you want the address ?”.

At 7:30pm, Seungyoun was in front of the place that Jinhyuk told him. He was wondering how he could come in. He probably looked stupid waiting in front of the studio place so he decided to knock on the door. A woman opened the door.

“Who are you ?” she politely asked

Seungyoun took of his face mask and bowed.

“Hello, I’m Cho Seungyoun, I wanted to see Wooseok, if it’s possible ?”

The woman had recognized him.

“Oh yes sure ! The shooting is not over yet, but you can wait inside, please come !”

Seungyoun followed her into the studio. It was a big room with a dozen of people inside : photographs, managers, stylist and Kim Wooseok. The latter was facing a camera, taking different poses. Seungyoun’s heart stopped. _Goddammit. Wooseok is so beautiful._

“You can sit here” the woman said showing a chair to him

“Thank you” Seungyoun answered

But he didn’t sat down. He was busy looking at Wooseok, who didn’t have noticed Seungyoun yet. Wooseok was probably the most beautiful thing in the world. He was wearing a yellow oversized hoodie that was making him looking very cute. The shooting continued ten more minutes, until the director announced that it was finished. Everyone applauded including Wooseok, and Seungyoun was devastated because he was looking like a kitten. As Wooseok was bowing to the crew, he finally noticed Seungyoun and his smile dropped.

Wooseok was facing Seungyoun. He didn’t expect to see him here at all. How did even found him.

“Hi !” Seungyoun said with a shy smile

“What are you doing here ?” Wooseok asked

“I was just passing by”

What the fuck was he saying.

“Can we talk ?” Seungyoun asked

Wooseok was tempted to answer no, but there were actually many things on his mind that he should say to Seungyoun. After all, they never had a real conversation about what happened this goddamn night of their break up.

“Come”

Wooseok brought Seungyoun to an empty room. Seungyoun looked a little bit tense.

“What are you doing here ?” Wooseok asked again

“I wanted to see you” Seungyoun answered

They remained silent, facing each other.

“Wooseok, I-”

“Don’t say that you are sorry or that you love me again” Wooseok interrupted

Seungyoun bit his lip. Wooseok took a deep breathe.

“Look Seungyoun. I don’t understand why the fuck you did that. Even if we had a small argument the day before, it’s not a fucking reason. I loved you with whole fucking heart but you cheated on me like I mean nothing to you. You are the only fucking person I’ve ever loved. Now I don’t know why you keep trying to talk with me but don’t say that you love me. Because I don’t believe you”

They remained silent for a moment.

“Wooseok, I know I fucked up. That’s the biggest mistake of my life. But please believe me, I love you for real. I-”

“That’s so easy for you. To say that you love me. But you fucking betrayed me. How can I trust your words”

Wooseok realized that he was crying. However, he had managed to speak with a normal voice.

“Wooseok...”

Seungyoun stepped closer to him and gently wiped his tears with his thumbs, cupping his face with his hands. This touch reminded Wooseok how much he missed Seungyoun’s softness. Wooseok didn’t push him away. He looked at him.

“The worst in all of this is that I don’t hate you. I can’t make myself hate you.”

Wooseok didn’t want to say it, but he was still in love Seungyoun. And he wanted to trust Seungyoun when he said that he loved him. They looked at each other in the eyes for a long time. Wooseok heart was beating fast. They were a little bit too close and Seungyoun was still holding Wooseok’s face. Seungyoun opened his mouth to say something but Wooseok was faster.

“I should go now” the smaller said

Seungyoun seemed kinda disappointed for a second, but he nodded. Wooseok got out of the room first and Seungyoun followed him. Then, Seungyoun just said goodbye and left.

Seungyoun sat in his car. He was feeling many different things at once. On one hand, he was feeling heartbroken because he saw Wooseok crying, and Wooseok was rarely crying. Seungyoun kinda wanted to throw himself of a cliff for making him cry. But in another hand, he was relieved that Wooseok didn’t hate him, because that meant that he possibly still loved him. Also, Seungyoun was feeling panicked because it seemed that Wooseok was close to kiss him. He was actually about to ask Wooseok if he could kiss him, but Wooseok said that he had to go before he could say it. _Wow. I’m so fucking dumb._ Seungyoun put in head on the wheel in frustration and accidentally honked.

“Fuck” he said

He started his car and drove back home. He definitely needed to take a nap to recover from what just happened.

\---

This week-end, all the X1 members would have a dinner together. Seungyoun was very excited to see them all, because it had been a while since they met all together. Also, Seungyoun hadn’t seen Wooseok since he came to his shooting, and he was missing him already, even if only 5 days passed. He hoped that he could talk with him more.

The evening of the dinner, Seungyoun hesitated for a long time picking an outfit : he wanted to impress Wooseok, but he didn’t want to do too much. He decided to wear black pants and a large shirt. He looked himself in the mirror before he went out.

“Woah, Cho Seungyoun, you look very sexy tonight” he told himself

He really hoped that Wooseok would think the same.

Seungyoun took a taxi to go to Yohan’s apartment were all the members will gather. Since the disband, they were always gathering there because Yohan’s had a big apartment and he lived alone there. Seungyoun got out of the taxi, thanked the driver and he quickly climbed the stairs. He arrived in front of the door, checked if he looked okay on his phone, he rearranged his hair, took a deep breath and then he knocked. Yohan opened the door and smiled when he saw Seungyoun.

“Hyung you’re finally here ! We were waiting for you !” Yohan excitedly said hugging him

“Wait am I the last one to arrive ?”

“You are literally 30 minutes late”

“Oh really ?”

“Hyung !” Eunsang said arriving behind Yohan

Eunsang hugged Seungyoun.

“Come, we are starving because we waited for you” Yohan said

Seungyoun followed them in the dining room, where the members were seated around a big table. The first thing Seungyoun noticed when he arrived in the room was Kim Wooseok. He was wearing those big round glasses and an oversized white hoodie. _He’s so fucking cute._ But suddenly Hyeongjun jumped on Seungyoun to hug him.

“Seungyoun hyung !” he said with a cute baby voice

“Hyeongjunie !”

Seungyoun looked at him. He missed his cute baby face. He squished his cute baby cheeks.

“I missed you hyung !”

“I missed you too !”

“Yah Cho Seungyoun ! Can you seat down now ? We are hungry !” Hangyul said

“Yes yes wait a minute Hyeongjun trapped me in his hug”

Seungyoun sat down between Hangyul and Hyeongjun. He was seated in the opposite side as Wooseok but at least he could secretly watching him. Wooseok was very cute. With his big glasses. And his cute hoodie. And his soft hair.

“Seungyoun are you here ?” Hangyul asked

Seungyoun had lost his focus staring at Wooseok.

“Yes ?”

Hangyul was smirking at him.

“What are you looking at ?” Hangyul asked

“It’s not your problem. And use honorifics with me or I will challenge you on a taekwondo battle and you will lose because I’m very strong.”

Hangyul laughed.

“You should eat your food now if you want to beat me”

Seungyoun looked at his full plate and he noticed that everyone had almost finish. _‘Wait how many time did I spen_ _d_ _looking at Wooseok ?’_. He was about to start eating but his eyes met Wooseok’s. Seungyoun smiled to him. They looked at each other for few seconds and Wooseok turned his head to Junho who was next to him, poking his cheek to get his attention. Seungyoun heart was beating very fast. _Calm down Cho Seungyoun, it was just an eye contact_. Seungyoun finally started eating his meal.

“Hyung ?” Hyeongjun asked when Seungyoun finished his plate

“Mmh ?” Seungyoun said looking at Wooseok as he was talking to Seungwoo

“You’re looking at Wooseok again” Hyeongjun remarked

Seungyoun turned his head to Hyeongjun.

“What ?”

“That’s kinda scary hyung, like imagine if I stared at you like this”

Hyeongjun widened his eyes to imitate Seungyoun looking at Wooseok. Hyeongjun was so cute. Seungyoun laughed at him while squishing his cheeks.

Few minutes after, everyone had finished. Yohan, Hangyul, Seungwoo and Wooseok were laughing together in one side of the table, while the kids started playing halli galli together in the other side of the table. Seungyoun decided to move next to Wooseok. _‘That’s a bold move Cho Seungyoun’_. Wooseok was still eating ramen and was listening to the 3 others men talking in the other side of the table, smiling when they were saying something funny.

“You’re still eating ?” Seungyoun asked to Wooseok while seating next to him

Wooseok looked at him for one second. Seungyoun was kindly smiling at him.

“Yes. I’m hungry”

Wooseok continued eating his ramen. For some reason, he didn’t want to push Seungyoun away.

“You’re very cute tonight” Seungyoun said

Wooseok almost choked on his food because of the sudden compliment. Seungyoun was casually flirting with him while he was trying to peacefully eat his spicy ramen.

“Well I’m cute everyday” Wooseok answered

He was actually thinking that Seungyoun was very cute too but he wouldn't say it.

“That’s true”

Wooseok looked at him. They looked at each other. Wooseok was supposed to be mad at him but he couldn’t stop himself to being attracted to him. Seungyoun was still looking at him with sparkly eyes. Suddenly, Seungyoun moved his hand toward Wooseok’s face. _What the fuck is he going to kiss me now what the fuck no wait_ _no._ Seungyoun wiped the corner of Wooseok’s mouth with his thumb.

“You had ramen sauce there” he said

Then he licked his thumb. _‘_ _Well_ _that was sexy_ _’_ Wooseok thought. He looked at him. He had sparkly eyes. Wooseok saw the love in Seungyoun’s eyes. Maybe Seungyoun was sincere with him. Maybe he should let him another chance.

“Wow, your ramens are so spicy” Seungyoun said licking his lips

 _Can he stop._ Wooseok was looking at his lips now.

“Wanna taste some more ?” Wooseok asked

“Well I would like too but you ate all” Seungyoun answered, sadly looking at the ramen empty cup

“What ?”

 _Oh my god._ Seungyoun was so dumb.

“Wait” Seungyoun said looking at Wooseok

“Hmm”

“Did you mean-”

And now they were looking at each other again. Seungyoun was really beautiful. His gaze slowly moved down to Wooseok’s lips.

“Can I kiss you ?” Seungyoun asked

Wooseok’s heart did a triple backflip.

“Yes please” Wooseok whispered

Seungyoun got closer to him and they lips met. Seungyoun put on hand on Wooseok cheek to deepen the kiss. Wooseok was feeling like his brain was malfunctioning as Seungyoun’s lips were moving against his. Wooseok’s heart was about to explode when they finally pulled apart. Seungyoun looked at him with his sparkly eyes.

“I missed you” Seungyoun said taking Wooseok’s hand in his

“I missed you too” Wooseok replied smiling to him

They stayed like this few minutes, Seungyoun fondly looking at Wooseok while holding his hand. Wooseok couldn’t doubt that Seungyoun’s loved him, because no one had ever looked at him like Seungyoun was right now. Wooseok was literally combusting.

“Oh Seungseok ?” Junho suddenly said

Everyone laughed except Seungseok. Wooseok realized that everyone was looking at them.

“Why are you always kissing in front of the kids ? Dohyon is traumatized” Seungwoo said

Dohyon was looking at them with a disgusted and shocked look.

“First of all, I’m sorry Dohyon. Second of all, mind your business. And third of all, look away I’m about to kiss him again” Seungyoun declared

And he kissed Wooseok again.

“Ew” Minhee said

Several hours after, the youngest had left, and Yohan, Seungwoo, Wooseok and Seungyoun were the only ones left. Seungyoun and Wooseok had spent the last hours talking and kissing and Seungyoun didn’t want to part ways with him. He wanted to stay here forever with him.

“Well I have to go now” Wooseok declared

“Nooo” Seungyoun whined

“It’s 3am babe”

Seungyoun pouted.

“You’re cute” Wooseok said booping his nose

Wooseok stood up but he couldn't move because Seungyoun was still sitting down and holding his hand.

“Stand up” Wooseok said

“I love this song”

Wooseok laughed.

“Stand up or I drop your hand”

“Okay okay I’ll stand up”

Seungyoun stood up. Now he was standing up he noticed how small Wooseok was.

“You’re small”

“Shut up”

“Kiss me first then we’ll see”

“You are annoying, Seungyoun”

“I know, that’s why you love me”

Seungyoun hugged Wooseok who was perfectly fitting in his arms because he was small.

“I have to go, Seungyoun” Wooseok said looking up at Seungyoun as he was still wrapped in his arms

“Why ?” Seungyoun whined

“I have another shooting tomorrow. I need to sleep if I want to be handsome”

“You’re always handsome babe” Seungyoun replied with a flirty voice

Wooseok kissed him.

“Okay I really have to go now”

“I’m going with you then”

They said goodbye to Yohan and Seungwoo. They were watching a movie on the sofa, Seungwoo’s head resting on Yohan’s lap who was patting his head.

Seungyoun and Wooseok went downstairs. It was cold outside but they had to wait for a taxi. They had to take different taxis because they were going to opposite directions.

“I’m cold” Wooseok said

Seungyoun opened his arm so Wooseok could hug him. Few minutes after, the taxi arrived.

“Go first” Seungyoun said

Wooseok looked at Seungyoun in the eye and kissed him.

“Thank you. I love you”

Seungyoun smiled at him.

“I love you too”

Wooseok got in the taxi and Seungyoun closed the door. He waved at Wooseok at the taxi left.

Seungyoun smiled to himself. He finally got his Wooseok back.


End file.
